Pillow fort invasion

I made a sweet fort
made out of pillows and stuff!
Then a boy got in

:(

Chocolate. Fish. Religion.

Eating chocolate
Will conjure a talking fish
who will yell "MOSES!"

Coffee, summer and dragons.

One cup of coffee
Left in the heat of summer
Will hatch a dragon.

Archery (More Bloody)

The bow and arrow
Belonging to Amy's hand
Stabs you in the face.

Schrödinger's cat

Poor Shrodinger's cat
Maybe he's alive. Or dead.
Depends on your smarts.

Lips

Taste my lips, Honey.
Soft and sweet, like a poison.
Intoxicating.

Biceps, steak and nudity.

Flexing those biceps!
Eat some steak! Build Some muscles!
CRUSH ENEMIES NUDE!

Hamburgers and kittens.

We all know kittens
are tasty! Like hamburger!
PUT ONE IN A BUN!

Panda

I knew a girl once
She had a steamy affair
with a hot panda

Alf

Alf. I know that guy!
I think he's an alien!
Face like a noodle.

:/

Italian food, a long lost friend, and a new experience.

We had lasagne
She was my childhood sweetheart
she taught me patience

Archery

The bow and arrow
Belonging to cupid's hand
Makes fools fall in love

Penguin

Aw, Penguins are cute
but also, very tasty.
Try one on pizza!

Superhero

I wish I was a
SUPERHERO because then
I could eat a horse!

Pants

God damn, I hate pants
It's hot and I'm all sweaty
THEY HAVE TO COME OFF!

Roof

ALIX MORGAN LENCZ
get down off the roof, silly!
that's no place for you!

Sparrows

I see you there bird!
eating all my tasty crumbs
get your own sandwich!

Cup

I got my hand stuck
IT GOT STUCK IN A SMALL CUP
now I feel silly

x.x

Shaving Cream

I used shaving cream
It squirted on my leg.
BATHROOM BUKKAKE!

Meningococcal

Oh no, that disease
I got all itchy and stuff
then my leg fell off.

'Nam

Where did my limbs go?
I fought in that war back when.
It was pretty fun.

Carbon Tax

Thoughts on carbon tax?
the government and money.
shouldn't get married.

Sharks

Shark with a mustache.
drinking martinis in suits.
James Bond of the sea.

Cows in a line

Look at all those cows.
Standing in a line like that.
Peters tripping balls.

Microwave/Macaroni/Fish

Sometimes, people like to challenge my Haiku skills.
Because I am the greatest, I usually exceed expectations.

First line "Microwave"
Second line "Macaroni"
Third line "Fish"

GO.


Peters microwave.
Making some macaroni
then the fish stole it.

Captive

This is haiku about a show I stage managed;

In the dark of night.
Under bridge. Basement. Caged.
I'll hold you captive.

I'm not creepy.

The show was >)

Businessmens

This Haiku is about Businessmens;

Silly businessmans
Being fast and pushing me
they just want sushi

>:(

Kidney

This Haiku is about Kidney;

In my left kidney
I seem to have a magnet
It attracts strange men


:(

Potato

This Haiku is about a Potato;

Oh hallo, Tato
Get off the couch, lazy bum!
GO GET A REAL JOB.

Sushi

This Haiku is about sushi

Oh yum, look!, SUSHI!
I like the CHICKEN ONES BEST.
Yeah. I know. I'm lame.

Coffee

This Haiku is about Coffee;

Oh love of my life
YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALL BUZZY
that's why I drink you.

Possums

This Haiku is about Possums;

I went for a run
A possum did wee on me
It made me quite sad

Pokemon

This Haiku is about Pokemon;

This craze. Pokemon.
Creatures coming out of balls.
It's kinda phallic.

Michelle

This Haiku is about my housemate, Michelle;

Michelle can cook stuff!
Oh! Like this sexy herb bread!
I ate the whole thing.

Boobies

This Haiku is about Boobies;

Boobies are so great!
like soft pillows of happy!
I wish mine were big

:(

Moustache

This Haiku is about having a Moustache;

Growing a moustache
Is a very manly thing
twist with evil plans

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

This Haiki is about Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis;
(suggested by a schoolfriend, Aaron)

Aaron's word is long
is it even a real word?
I might google it.

Riblit Rolls from Uni

This Haiku is about university food;

Riblit roll on sale
from Griffith food servery
will give you heartburn

My theatre Uni Lecturer

This Haiku is about one of my lecturer's in my Theatre degree;

Lil, she swears a lot
She's all red hair and passion
"Romeo. A cunt!"

Nicotine Patches

Here is a haiku about Nicotine patches;

Patches make you dream
dogs with keyboard letter teeth
THE SMILE IS SO SCARY

Tuna

This is a haiku about tuna;

This is delicious!
chasing Ryan around the house
I HAVE TUNA BREATH!

Tissues

This haiku is about Tissues;
(suggested by my housemate, Ryan)

Ohh look! so floaty!
I don't like to think about
what they put in you

:(

SkiFree

This is a haiku about Skifree;

I think you should know
Beating that crafty yeti?
just hold down "F" key

Blog Goldfish

Here is a haiku about Blog Goldfish;

Can you see the fish?
Chillin on this here webpage?
FEED THEM OR THEY DIE.

Frogs and Socks

Here is a haiku about frogs and socks;

It's all going off!
LIKE SOME KIND OF FROG SOCK PARTY
what does this all MEAN?

Sun

Here is a haiku about the sun;

Oh Sun, you're so hot
I FEEL LIKE EGGS IN A PAN
turn yourself down, fool.

Macgyver

 Here is a haiku about Macgyver:

Oh you, Macgyver.
Building a rocket to space
out of empty cups

Halo

Here is a Haiku about Halo;

Sometimes I Halo
The girl spartans have big butts
OH SHIT STICKY 'NAID!

Dried Apricots

Here is a haiku about dried apricots;

You're so disgusting!
I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY MOUTH
wrinkly piece of fruit

>:(

Spiders

Here is a haiku about spiders.

Oh, Hello spider!
why are you not wearing pants?
calling the police

Spaghetti

Here is a haiku about spaghetti;

SO SLIMEY AND STUFF
WHY DO YOU LIVE IN A CAN?
PREACHING ABOUT GOD!